Playground for Parents

New Year, New Food

I don't make New Year's resolutions because I think they are an evil trap, designed to set you up for failure and add to your "I Feel Guilty" list (which is already too damn long).  But one thing I promised to myself this year was to try new restaurants with my husband.  There are simply WAY too many places to eat in Los Angeles county, for us to keep going to the same familiar places week after week just because it's the first spot we think of.  The ladies in my mommy group are constantly recommending restaurants that don't have cheese pizza on the menu.  And a quick Google search will bring up dozens of choices. 

 

Finally, we need to branch out!  Our taste buds are screaming for more! How do I remind myself of this new goal when it's not something I normally do?  With the arrival of the paycheck, a bit of dough is set aside for this tasty night.  We vow to go at least once per month. It's promptly put on my calendar, his calendar, the office wall calendar, and even a random post-it note (my memory ain't that good).  The added bonus to sharing these new restaurant experiences is reconnecting with my husband with some much needed alone time;  time that doesn't involve a constant barrage of "eat your vegetables," "elbows off the table," "sit up straight," "don't throw your food."  Actually, that does sound like my meals with my husband.

 

This month's designated spot: a fondue restaurant that I've been wanting to check out for a long time.  I can barely contain myself.  Afterall, everything taste better with cheese. And chocolate.  

 

In the spirit of the new year and the upcoming Valentine's Day, what are you doing to enrich your relationship with your partner?  When we think about the work it takes to "keep the fires going" in marriage, it almost makes this mothering thing seem easy.

 

 

Last One Picked

When we were little, what did it mean when we were picked last by our classmates for a round of baseball, basketball or beloved kickball?  I just can't recall. I figure I was either so obnoxiously popular that it never, ever, in the span of 10+ years, happened to me. Or it was so heartwrenchingly, agonizingly, traumatizing that I've pushed the experience into the recesses of my muddled mind.  Let's go with that first reason, shall we?

Based on what I've seen on television (and we know how realistic that is), the last one picked for the team is always the nerdy, smelly, socially-awkward, overweight, shy kid, who doesn't really want to play anyway.  At least they act like they don't want to play (smart defensive move, if you ask me). 

If this imitates real life, then I am truly at a loss for why my kid was picked last for two recent games she played at our local YMCA. Afterall, she is none of those things...except shy. OK, maybe even a little nerdy. But certainly not the least athletic. It didn't matter that she was the fastest one around the gym, or the only one who didn't cheat doing the exercises, or the one with great running form thanks to all these months of track practice, or that she was the tallest one out there. Shocker - it didn't even matter that one of the young team leaders had just told me 10 minutes prior, "you're daughter is good at this."   What?! If she's so good, what took you so long to choose her for your team?!

There I sat on the sidelines, while the two misguided team leaders chose their players. Oh, how glorious it must feel to be picked first. The chosen one. The golden child. From what I can tell, that's usually going to be the biggest, loudest kid around. And like it or not, it's usually going to be a boy. I'm cool with that. Hey, I'd probably pick him over my own kid too, even if he was incredibly annoying and not following directions. I'll give them that one. But then you're also going to pick the kid who always came in last running down the court, before you pick my kid?  And you're going to pick the one who made an excuse to go to the bathroom or the water fountain everytime they had to do a new exercise, before you pick my kid?

WHAT is it?  Because she's skinniest?  Because she's tallest?  Because she's quietest?  Because she's (gasp!) the only brown child?

I gotta tell you, because I figure I can be honest with you - it sucks! It's painful to watch your child be..."un-wanted!"  And I was mad.  I feel silly confessing to this now, but I instaneously disliked each of those LAME kids who would dare pass over my darling daughter. Irrational?  What can I say. Mama bear doesn't just protect her kids from physical injury. She protects them from ego-injury too. 

Except my kid didn't care. Nope. Not one bit. Didn't even phase her that she was the last straggly one standing there. So, apparently it was my issue, and I was going to have to be resentful of those other brats all by myself. I guess that's a good thing. Her ego remained intact. Mine, on the other hand...

Haiti Relief: Quick, Easy and Compassionate

You don't have a lot of time, or a lot of money. But, you have a big heart.  Here are two quick and easy ways to help provide relief for our Haitian brothers and sisters in desperate need. I promise it'll make you feel really, really good.

*  Sports Chalet stores are accepting gently worn adult and kids shoes from now until January 31st.  All shoes collected are given to Soles4Souls for distribution to the Haitians.  They listed a brilliant idea on their website, of organizing a shoe drive in your community.  Within one minute of reading that tip, I sent a quick email to the parents of my kids' sports team, and asked them to bring shoes to this weekend's game!  Come on, you have at least one pair that you haven't worn since 2008, or your kid has a pair they have to curl their toes up to make fit. This is a fantastic way to get the little ones involved in a selfless act of compassion, and responsibility for mankind. For more info:  Sports Chalet Haitian Donation (I just created that name. Kinda catchy, huh?!)  Just take 'em off, and drop 'em off!  (I just came up with that one too. Man, I'm clever! Ha!)

(Thanks for the tip, Gwendolyn!)

*  Pick up your cell phone. Text "HAITI" to 90999. Done! $10 will go to the Red Cross Haiti Relief Fund.  The charge will show up on your phone bill, and this is available for all cell phone carriers. Skeptical of anything involving money being donated over the Internet or phone? I know, I know. Me too. But, this one's legit, mama. It's sponsored by mgive, who has numerous charitable organizations registered to them, including Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Doctors without Borders, etcetera.

(Thanks for the tip, Erika!)

A Lesson In Her Death

I've always said that the more people I meet and befriend, the more opportunities I have to enrich my life - to learn, to laugh, to relate to another woman and mom. But there's also a flip side to that too. The more people I meet, the more I am exposed to other's pain, heartache...even death.  The death of their child, their parent...and in this TRAGIC case, their own death.

 

I know of Karissa only through the blog world. Never chatted with her directly. I can't claim to be an avid reader of her's. But I knew of her presence in social media, and that her blog, Prissy Green, was a good one. I know that she provided useful information on living green and organic, and finding joy and practicality in the things around you. I also know that she was someone who other bloggers admired, for her humor, her honesty, and her constant willingness to be helpful and resourceful, with enthusiasm and genuine concern.

 

Today I learned that she killed herself. 

 

The last post on her blog was about taking a "small break".  She wrote it on Jan 2nd.  She  indicated that she'd be back soon, back to her usual posts and giveaways. And she wished all of her readers their "best year yet."

 

As a psychologist, I have witnessed the depths of despair.  As a friend, wife, daughter, sister, and mom I have seen tragedy and hopelessness experienced by those I love.  Karissa was someone's daughter, in her 30's.  I can't imagine the unbearable pain of her family right now, let alone the unbearable pain she must have felt to leave them by ending her life. Whether or not we knew her personally, we realize that she has finally found her peace, but we wish that she had somehow found it while still living. 

 

Her suicide is a wake up call to all of us:  to reserve a little less judgement; to take a little more time; to express a little more love and compassion; and to PLEASE seek help if you are feeling lost and alone.

 

 

Free Disney Tickets!

You're generous, thoughtful, charitable, and you want to teach your kids the same important values.  But you just don't have the time to involve your family in community service right now.  I'm thinking you just need a little motivation.  How about up to EIGHT free tickets to Disneyland?!

"Give a Day. Get a Disney Day."   Volunteer up to eight members of your household to volunteer at a community service event of your choice, and you'll each receive a free ticket to Disneyland, redeemable until December 2010.   I just discovered this program tonight (thanks Gwendolyn!), and went onto the website immediately.  Simply type in your zip code, and PAGES of volunteer opportunities appear, from assisting at a doggie adoption, to feeding the homeless, to distributing Valentine treats at a senior center. 

From the Disney website:   "We want to inspire one million people to volunteer a day of service to a participating organization in their communities. So we're celebrating these volunteers' good works by giving each of them a 1-day, 1-theme park ticket to the Disneyland® Resort or Walt Disney World® Resort, free. There's no better time to make a dream come true for others and let us make a few come true for you."

Many of the events that sparked my interest were already filled (removing holiday decorations from a 60 ft tree at a local park! Cleaning a local beach!), so obviously this is a popular program, which is a good thing.  The activities have age minimums, and at least in my area, a lot of the stuff had a minimum age of 15.   But, by the time I got to page 26, I finally found a charity event that wasn't already filled, and that I, my husband, and our 8 year old could participate in.  It's going to be such a valuable lesson for her, a wonderful thing to do together as a family, and a super reward at Disneyland! 

It's a Small World afterall.

I Heard Nothing

This afternoon I was in the middle of packing up the outdoor Christmas decorations, disassembling the lighted trees and complicated reindeer (hoping that I remember next year how to re-assemble them), cramming oversized bows and wreaths into new overpriced plastic storage bins...and, I kid you not, while doing this I received a Fed-Ex delivery of MORE Christmas decor for next year (I told you that I'm determined to have my house seen from space next holiday). 

Suddenly, I noticed something. It was quiet. Like really, really quiet. Even the annoying yap-crazy Chihuahuas next door weren't incessantly barking. And I stood still. It was just a moment, but I stood there in my living room and listened...to nothing.  In that moment there was such peace.  I was calm.  So, I did it again a bit later.

The two hours prior to that moment was spent doing what I normally do. What YOU normally do. Dropped the two kids off at two different places, dropped the bills off at the postoffice, then went to Trader Joe's, the pharmacy, drove by the accountant's office to find out what I need to prepare the taxes, came home to unload groceries, throw the baby's wet sheets in the washer (WHY don't those damn overnight diapers work?!), respond to email, pack Christmas boxes...We're always asking for peace and quiet, but what do we do when we have it?

It's a bit challenging to notice the quiet when trying to get as much done as you can before your noon appointment at the beauty salon. It's challenging to stand still when the kids are out of school, and under your feet.

It's challenging to enjoy the moment. Reminds me of my daughter, when she was 2 or 3 years old, and I had her enrolled in a piano class (gotta start 'em young, right, like Tiger Woods -uhhh, guess I can't use that example for a while).  The radio was turned on to a classical music station (gotta build those brain cells, right?), and my daughter simply said, "I hear the violin, mommy."  She was in the moment. I was not. I was distracted and "busy." But, she brought me there.

We can learn a lot from our kids. And we can learn a lot by standing still.

Next time you're home alone, try it. Sshh. 

Giveaway! Kids Shoes from U*neaks!

  
 
WHAT?! It has been almost two weeks since my last post?!  WHY has no one emailed me to make sure I was alive, that I had survived my overdose of shortbread cookies meant for Santa; that I survived two kids home on winter break while I continued to work, decorate, shop, host, un-decorate, and shop some more (you WILL see my lighted house from space next Christmas)?  Well, just to convince you that there's no hard feelings...and to diminish some of my guilt, I'm kicking off the NEW YEAR with some NEW KICKS for the kids! Something adorable to start their year off on the right foot (I'll stop now).  Something they'll probably appreciate much more than that itchy sweater they got from Grandma for Christmas.

Introducing:  Fun and fabulous shoes from U*neaks.  "Kids shoes with windows and socks with fun and fashionable designs, so that you can change the look of your shoes by changing your socks. All our socks are double sided, so that you get two appearances from each pair of socks by simply switching your socks from one foot to the other. Pair the shoes and socks to unleash your imagination, match your mood and express your style.  U*neaks are more than just unique shoes and socks, they are a window into a world of fun."

 

Now, I was unable to review U*neaks personally, because my big kid is too big for them, and my little kid is, well, too little.  Bummer. BUT, I thought the concept was so original and the shoes so cool, that I still wanted to feature them here. I sent an email out to the mommy support group I belong to - and let's just say, I've never seen these chicks respond that fast. Within seconds of my request looking for someone to review these shoes, I had eager mamas hitting their reply button.  The first to respond:  Terica, who had actually already heard about U*neaks from a mom at karate class.  She selected the Camel Rev style (top photo) for her son, and was also given two adorable and hip pairs of socks.  Here's what Terica had to say...

 

The shoes were A HIT with my kid!!!  He loves them and the fact that EVERYONE, not just him, can see his "cool socks" as he put it.  First of all, he was already a sock person believe it or not.  He always has to get whatever socks they have in the $1 section at Target. He now has every color, character and design his heart desires.  So, the fact that he can share the cool socks through the cool shoes, he LOVES!!  He was asleep when I got home Sunday so he saw them when he woke up Monday morning and of course he wanted to wear them to school.....pause....its raining....5 minute argument on why he cant and he finally put on his rain boots.   When he got home he INSISTED on "trying them on" WITH his favorite army print sweater which happen to match a pair...needless to say...the shoes are great.  Good quality and comfort (he says).  He wanted to personally come to your house and thank you for the cool shoes ....but I kinda....told him you were not home and that we could take a picture instead...lol!!  its attached.  Oh, he may like the socks more than the shoes.....he's been wearing them since he put them on.....MONDAY!!!!  I guess that means they are comfortable...and of course, cool :).  Thanks Again Nina

 

See for yourself how these clever shoes work:

 

Wanna Buy It?  Check out the fun styles of shoes and socks at U*neaks.  And now get free shipping on orders over $20!

 

Wanna Win It?  U*neaks is offering one lucky reader a pair of girl or boy shoes, PLUS two pairs of socks!

 

Visit  www.uneaks.com.  Leave a Comment telling me your favorite shoe style for your boy or girl.   Comments must be received by 11:59pm (PST) on January 22nd.  One winner will be selected by Random.org. Winner will be notified via email, and will be announced here.  Be sure to leave your email address so that I can contact you (and make sure it doesn't go to spam) - I'd hate for you to miss your prize. Winner has 48 hours to respond, or a new winner will be selected. Open to residents of U.S.  Good luck!

 

 Increase your chances to win!  For more entries, you can: 

1. Subscribe to my blog (located on the top, right side of this page).  After you've subscribed, leave three separate Comments for three entries! Are you already a Subscriber?  Just leave three Comments and say, "I subscribe!"
2. Blog about this Giveaway and link back to Playground for Parents.  Leave five separate Comments with the link to your post, for five entries!
3. Post my blog button on your site!  Leave five separate Comments with your blog link, for five entries!! 
4. Email a friend about this Giveaway and cc me: PlaygroundMail@aol.com. Leave a Comment for your one extra entry!
5. If you have Entrecard, drop your card on me, or advertise on my site! Just leave me a Comment and let me know you've done so.
6. Follow me on Twitter  AND tweet about the Giveaway! You can do this DAILY, for an entry each day! Just leave the link to your tweet in your comment each day!
7. Leave a comment on any NONgiveaway post on my blog, and come back here and let me know you did!
8. Become a friend of U*neaks facebook page at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Uneaks/59362069476

* Be sure to leave a Separate Comment for EACH entry. That's NINE total ways to enter this fantastic contest! 

Many thanks to Jeff for providing this great giveaway and review!

 

CONGRATULATIONS TO LUCKY WINNER, MAMI2JCN (#7)!