I Need a Hug

 

What kind of freakish mother needs a reminder to hug their kid, and what type of corny society needs a national day of recognition called Hug Your Kids Day?  I mean seriously, we have a day for everything, and now hugs.  What's next, cut your cuticles day? Actually, that one would be helpful - you haven't seen my fingernails. Ghastly.

 

OK, at what point in this post did you catch the sarcasm?  The answer to who needs the Hug Your Kids Day on July 20th is...WE do.  And just to prove it, I'm going to ask one simple question:

 

When is the last time you hugged your kid?

 

Nooo, not a tickle, not a tousle of the hair, swap on the booty, pat on the back, or that caress of the shoulder when you tuck them in at night - those are cute, but they don't count for the purposes of this event. Sorry!  I'm talking about a good, old-fashioned heart to heart/chest to chest, in the moment, silent, hugging embrace. The kind of hug that's beneficial to both you and that little recipient you birthed, that makes them feel safe and secure and loved without a word. It's saying, "you are my world," all in a squeeze.

 

Hmmm, forgot what that was like, huh mama?  Hey, no judgement here. I know what it's like to get caught up in the hamster wheel of life, feeling lucky to remember to feed the kids (is it me, or do these things eat ALL the time?!), let alone hug them. So consider this day a gentle reminder. And hopefully even the start of a new frequent behavior.

 

Hug Your Kids Day was started by Michelle Nichols. “I learned this lesson the hard way. My son, Mark, died suddenly from brain cancer in 1998, when he was only 8 ½ years old. I always thought I had unlimited time to hug him and spend time with him, but only eleven days after the doctors thought he just had the flu, he was gone, out of my hug’s reach forever.”

 

Below is a refresher on how to give good hug, from Mighty Mommy - just in case you know a lot more about how the game of little league baseball is played, than how to give an unsolicited embrace.

 

Now go get to hugging - make use of those arms for something other than hauling around laundry.

 

How to Give a Good Hug (from Mighty Mommy)

There are five basic steps of a good hug:

1.      Empty your head: Forget about bills to be paid, calls to be returned, and plans for next week.

2.      Empty your hands: Put down your car keys, cell phone, purse, and all the junk you-- like most moms-- carry around.

3.      Make eye contact: Get them to eye level, no matter whether they need to stand on a chair, or you need to stand on a stair.

4.      Make heart contact:  Tell them what’s in your heart, like “I love you. You rock my world. No matter what else happens today, I love you!”

5.      Squeeze!: Give them a hug that will last them all day. Squeeze them so well that when you part, you both say, “Now that was a hug!”

The trick to start hugging your kids and your spouse or partner every day is to hug them today. Don’t over-think and under-hug. Don’t tell yourself you’re too tired, or the kids are too busy, or it’s not the right time to hug your loved one. Hugs are like both vitamins and medicine. They can help prevent hurt feelings, and help heal them faster.

More Hug and Family Love Tips

1.      Hugging your family every day is a habit, like brushing your teeth. Do it every day and soon, it becomes routine.

2.      When your kids make a mistake, look hard for what’s positive. After all, it’s hard to be a kid. Children need encouragement, not discouragement.

3.      When your kids hurt your feelings by accident, learn to laugh instead of cry. When my younger son, Devin, was 6, he made me a birthday card that said “Happy Birthday, Mom. I wish you were donuts.” He explained that he loved me, but he loved donuts just a little bit more. At first I felt insulted, but I chose to laugh at the card -- and gave him a hug for valuing me so highly. Hey, donuts rock!

4.      What if loved ones are too far away to hug? You can call them, text them, send a card, send an email, send an e-card, or send cookies. What’s important is you’re reaching out on a regular basis to tell them you love them.

Hugs are fast, free, and non-fattening! They’re perfect for today’s budget- and-time-stressed moms, so hug your kids today. And don’t forget -- National Hug Your Kids Day is Monday, July 20th. Tell your friends. It will be announced on billboards nationwide, during Major League baseball games, and in Gannett newspapers. Our goal is to change the world’s families, one million hugs at a time. Join us -- and don’t forget to hug your kids.

National Hug Your Kids Day is July 20th.  To find out more about the holiday, the handbook, and see what’s going on in your city, head to www.HugYourKidsToday.com

 

Comments

[Melissa]

I hug my kids every day, several times a day. Way too much if you ask my (almost) 8 year old! I know that soon enough they'll be grown and gone and I want to get in as much hug time as I can.

One note I'd add to the "How To's" of hugging - Don't be the one to let go first. Keep hugging until your children let go. You might be surprised at how long it will last!

[Lynn]

I hugged my son last night! But this is a perfect way to remind myself NOT to be irritated that he woke me up last night. Drove me bonkers...so instead of being snappish (which I wasn't anyway), I'm going to give him a hug. =)

[Stacy]

I love hugs!!! You might have heard me mention it before. My grandmother (R.I.P.) was very much into hugging...and I mean good, full body, head to toe contact, kinda hugs!! She always said that when you hug someone (this included people she just met), that all of your chakras should be connected. Chakras are "energy centers" that form a line from the top of your head, down the center of your body. Needless to say, that's a GOOD squeeze (much more than the tapping together of the shoulders)! Anyway, I was raised on the idea that hugs are great!! I'm trying to instill that same belief in my kid (not to mention the verbal "I Love You" that we say to each other almost every day). She's with her Nana today (70 miles away) so for "Hug Your Kid" day, I'll have to settle with a call to my kid and a hug for anybody else's kids that I may come in contact with today!! :-) Thanks for the reminder!

Smooches

[Shannon]

My 9 year old is completely repelled by hugs...it used to be only in public but now he even hates it in the prvacy of our home. I have to rob him to get some lovin'. He tells me "that's what Leila's for." (Leila is my 6 month old.)

I need to recondition the boy...

[CATHY PARKER]

I hug my 6 yr old daughter All the time! Twice in the last 2 yrs I've almost died and I can't Not hug her and kiss her. Being hospitalized all last summer from a sunburn!, and missing her so much I was crying all the time, made me realize just how short life is! Please stop by and visit! http://psychicmamaindigochild.blogspot.com/2009/07/blue-mondaymy-brown-eyes-blue.html

[Jo]

Aw what a good reminder. Thanks for sharing.

[April]

I have to hug my Riley every day! It's just as important to MY health as her.

Thanks for commenting on LA Moms! My daughters are in love with the big bowls we got at the Tupperware party.

[Jackie]

I hug my daughters every day. They are both teenagers and still hug me every morning. When I first started reading your post, I thought...you're right! Who would need a special day to hug their kids? But after reading further, I realized the reason for "Hug Your Kid Day." Life really is very precious (and sometimes too short). I think today I'll hug my daughters twice!

[Michelle Nichols]

I'm Michelle Nichols, the founder of National Hug Your Kids Day. Thanks for all the great comments! Yea, I've had a few folks ask why we need a holiday to remind us of what we already know, but as each of you acknowledged, it's not to tell you something you didn't KNOW, (like National Rocket Science Day,) but it's to remind you of something to DO. It's sorta' like Mother's Day, or Earth Day, in that respect.

Thanks again, and keep hugging your precious, irreplaceable kids!

Michelle Nichols, Founder of National Hug Your Kids Day.

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