Back Away From The Baby

 

The woman smiled as she wiped off the table next to ours. Munchkin smiled back at her. She smiles at everyone, all the time. Don't take it personally. Rag in one hand, spray bottle in the other, the woman continued to clean while now fully engaging Munchkin. Munchkin moved excitedly in her stroller, eager to show off her latest ability to wave at rapid speed. The woman took this as an invitation to approach Munchkin and ask for a high-five...with the same hand she'd been using to clean tables. She got closer and closer, "high-five? high-five baby?" The endearing moment had just taken a severe turn. And I was forced to put on my Supermom cape.

 

I hate confrontation. Really, truly hate it. I get all sweaty and panicky, I never think of something clever to say at the moment, and I obsess about it afterward, often blurting things out randomly like a crazy person. So, it was really awkward having to directly tell this woman, "DON'T touch her hand!" You know how it is - you have to say it quickly, abruptly, because the touch can happen in an instant. Therefore, the warning probably comes out sounding harsh and terse. The moment was made even more awkward by the fact that the woman didn't give a response. All that cooing and smiling on her part was immediately over, and she just walked away with her rag and spray bottle.

 

Too over-protective? You didn't live in my house this spring, when EVERYONE here was sick at the same time. It was the House of Cooties. Cooties that could jump on Munchkin's hand, and have a party as they fester in her mouth. What is the ONE thing that babies do just as often as they poop and drool? Right - they stick their little hands in their little mouth over, and over, and over again. We all know this. So, WHY do people want to touch the baby's hands anyway?! I've even seen other moms do this, and I would think we would know better. Stick to the feet, mama, if you must. I'm actually cool with it if I know you, if I like you, and would drop the baby off at your house if I think there's a direct link between her being sick, and you. But, not if you're some random person at the park, a salesperson behind the counter, or the guy bagging my groceries. And certainly not if you're the cleaning lady in a restaurant, with God-knows-what in that spray bottle. I don't even like old ladies reaching out to cop a feel. At the risk of sounding crazy - all I can think of is old dead skin cells sloughing off. Ha!

 

Mind you, this wasn't nearly as frightening as when I was in line at the hardware store and the customer in front of me started pointing his finger at Munchkin, while he approached her. He didn't need to inch closer, however, for me to notice the thick layer of dirt and grime wedged beneath his fingernail - the fingernail, that was attached to the finger, that was within inches of my baby's pure skin. I quickly grabbed her hand and pretended that she needed help waving it. I figured he wouldn't be able to touch her hand if I moved it around fast enough. "Can't Touch This. Hammertime!"

 

I appreciate that you think my kid is adorable, because she is. I understand the joy of feeling a baby wrap her sweet little hand around your finger. I really do. But, until Munchkin learns to keep her hands in the pockets of her miniature denim jacket, please mrs. stranger-whose-hygiene-habits-I-do-not-know, keep your germy distance.

 

 

Comments

[Courtney]

Couldn't agree more! My daughter is super friendly and always engages strangers - I always say that she'd go to a stranger in Walmart. People always want to touch her and it makes it worse that she basically calls them over to her and then I have to be the bad guy and say "Oh, sorry, she's just getting over a cold" and try to not be a total jerk. But at the end of the day, unless they're going to come and clean up the vomit after she got sick from their germs, I don't care what they say!

[Stacy]

I think I was oblivious to "baby touching ettiquette" until I became a mom myself. I might have even been guilty of copping a feel of a few pregnant bellies without permission (though never a stranger's). Now, I know better. I think (and maybe this is my slightly OCD side speaking), maybe we should just put them in a bubble! I'm LOL'ing...but I'm kinda serious. I'm always thinking about germies and my kid is nine years old! I don't like how she uses the handrail when climbing the stairs, or drags her finger along a wall as she passes it. YUCK! I say...if you have to smack a few hands that are about to grope your kid...then do it with a smile! :-)

Smooches

[Spoodles]

I'm with you. I hate being touched by strangers, so why would I let them touch my baby? It's natural and normal to feel that way! People need to grow some manners where other people's children are concerned.

[Stephanie]

Oh my gosh I agree whole heartedly!!! Don't touch my baby!!!

[Jennifer McLachlan]

OMG! So it's not only me!!! My hubby keeps telling me I'm too anal about everything, mind you, he's the one who is always out of the house so doesn't need to deal with the side effects of cooties. I actually had one mother get mad at me because apparently I made her 10 year old daughter upset when I asked her if she had washed her hands before she touched my four month old - she is 10, she just got back from playing at the park and evidently she washed her hands in the sink in the back of a Ford minivan (likely story!!!) This is the same mother, who grimy fingernails and all, actually went so far as to stick the finger that is dirty and just finished holding a cigarette in, into my daughter's mouth to see if her teeth were coming in because apparently, I, the clean, anal, non-smoker, germ patrol, loving mommy have no clue what I am doing!

I stand beside you in saying "keep your filthy paws off my baby!!!"

[rachel0]

Ditto ditto ditto (and triple-ewwww to the mom whose poor baby had nasty grimy smoker's hands in her mouth!!) Anyone have any good lines --defense or offense are okay with me as long as they work!

[Michelle]

Oh good luck! It's hard to keep the people away. The rag, I'm totally with because that grosses me out. I finally gave up on the other germs though... they'll help their immune systems grow strong as they get older and umm I'd rather have them sick now than when they're older and missing school. And I keep repeating this to myself. Fortunately, people aren't quite so into touching them now. It's just the icky things THEY touch ;)

[Reviewer11]

congrats on being the featured blogger :)

From a SITSta. :)

[Sugar and Spice]

HAHAHAHA!!! LOL!!! I know exactly what you mean! My husband thinks I'm a Germ-a-phobe. I like to think of it as clean:)

[Clare]

Stopping by from SITS. Congrats on your ISTS day. I hate when people touch my kid. I was super anal because my child was 10 weeks preemie. She didn't leave the house until she was 6 months old

[thatgirlblogs]

Happy SITS day! I'm poking around and enjoying myself, nice to "meet" you.

[Lisa Petrarca]

Okay, I must admit I've never been like this, UNTIL my son was recently hospitalized for a week in isolation because he developed a deadly Bacterial Meningitis. No one knows how he got it, but his immune system is shot now and I treat him like the boy in the plastic bubble!

I think there must be a happy medium, but I no longer know how to be that person! Good luck and congratulations on your SITS day!

[B]

Totally agree! That was so well written; too funny! Happy day in the SITS sun :O)

[Ashley]

Lol, I love this post. It is so true. I almost blew a gasket the other day when a lady at Kmart TOOK THE PACIFIER OUT OF MY SONS MOUTH! Umm... I don' tknow you lady! I don't care if you "want to see that smile." You can look from behind his paci. Ugh.

I also felt extremely protective after my son's surgery. Some little girl with her dirty dirty hands was trying to touch his face. He'd just gotten out of the hospital a few days before so I was really upset over it. I asked her not to and her mother looked at me like I was a nutball. WHatever, you don't know my story. Lol

Happy SITS day!

[The Redhead Riter]

Congrats.

So you are germaphobic too! Don't feel bad. I didn't let people touch my daughter do matter how mad they became and she rare was ill. It paid off. Germs are gross and you never know where people's hands have been...no offense. I don't touch other people's babies. I know how it fels.

[scrappysue]

you have lots of interesting posts! congrats on being the SITS FB!

[Jennifer]

Happy Sits day!!
I feel the same way about my babys .. I hate it when people touch my children with out asking.. I think people forget that they are little humans that can get sick not puppy's..

[Sandy Toes]

Have a fun SITS day!
sandy toe

[Heather]

Happy SITS day. My sister just had a baby a week ago, one week and people are kissing her face. Hello! why don't you just sneeze on the brand new baby! Common' people, think!

[Kristal]

Happy SITs Day! How about people kissing babies... sounds like you've encountered some interesting people! Stay strong mama!

[Mountain Woman]

I'm visiting from SITS. Although my child is grown now, I felt exactly as you did.

[Rebekah]

Congrats on your SITS day!!

Enjoy!!

[parenting BY dummies]

You go, Mom! I always think of this and get all cringy, when I see the old, icky fingers coming at my little one. I never have the strength to stop them so I just keep all these sanitizing products on my person at all times and whip them out the moment the person turns around. I'm sure other people think I'm crazy, but touching a baby's hand is just WRONG! Happy SITS day:)

[Jen]

Makes total sense. I will be more attune to that next time I see a sweet little bundle of joy. I wouldn't want some random person touching me.
Have a great SITS day.

[Katie Lane]

I totally agree!!

[Steph]

Happy SITS day! I was the same way. DS was a preemie and I was so paranoid about people touching his hands, face, etc.

[christina]

hahahaha happy SITS day!

[Susana]

Stopping by from SITS to say Happy Wednesday! You have such a great blog--loved reading while I was here!!

[Jeannie]

People should just know better!!! Why do Moms have to be the "bad guy" all the time???

Hugs!

[CourtneyD]

AMEN SISTER!! This post should be broadcast as a Public Service Announcement right up there along with "don't let your teens smoke crack"! Seems like the kind of thing random people out in the world should just know... lest we have to lay the screechy "back.your.grimy.hand.away.from.my.precious.widdle.babyRIGHTTHISMINUTE!!!!"smack down!

[Jennifer Juniper]

I've had a stranger try to KISS my babies when they were little! The horror! It needed to be said, cheers to you for sticking up against cooties :) Happy sits

[blueviolet]

I don't know WHY people think it's ok to touch a baby's hand or to touch at all, really. Good for you!

And happy SITS day!!!!

[Jenette]

Good for you! I hate when people try to touch my baby.

[Nice One]

She's your kid, you can set the rules!
Happy SITS day

[Darcel]

Happy SITS Day!!!
Babies are so adorable. It's hard not to touch them. Kids I can see, but adults c'mon now!

[JennyMac]

This is so spot on and you are not the only one who feels this way. A server in a restaurant tried to put her finger in our son's mouth when she was ogling him. He was about 4 months old. I could not believe it!

Happy SITS FB day!

[aDi]

Well thats another reason to let your kid know not to talk to starngers!
Happy SIST day to you, from a fellow SISTta
Enjoy your day :)

[Tiffany]

I completely understand. We had the same thing happen when we brought our daughter home. We all got so sick and so did she, poor thing.

[Amy]

Happy SITS day! Have a great one!

[Regina]

Happy, happy SITS day! Congrats on your SITS feature!

[Ginger]

I think I have to go against the grain here. I have a one year old baby boy. My kneejerk reactions is "Don't touch him!" but I've decided that that's what baby wipes are for. (And I do know what a horrible time it is when baby is sick!)

I think people should respect the Mama's wishes, but I also think society lives in such fearful overprotection, we shut out the lovely things. It's a difficult balance.

Anyway, that's my reaction.

Happy SITS day to you!!

[Dominique]

Congrads on being on SITS :)

Being a mother of two myself I also scoff at the idea of other people touching my baby. I personally do not go about touching other people's children or offering to carry them without asking. I feel too that they should do the same when it comes to my two kids.

[pink and green mama MaryLea]

I was the exact same way with both of my daughters, feet or just wave. You don't need to high five my kid, or grab her hands, the worst was when a total stranger grabbed my baby's hand and put it in her mouth!!! Ack! I thought I would have a heart attack on the spot. So instead I became the meanie mom who had to say "please don't touch her, I'm a germ phobe" My ultimate pet peeve is moms who let their little grubby preschoolers/school age kids grab and kiss all over you baby and don't say anything about it so then I'm the jerk who has to say hands off to your kid.
AS a mom of a "grubby" first grader and preschooler I feel like I'm not out of line, since I've taught my own kids and I repeat it whenever we're around babies, "look but don't touch" if you do want to touch, ask the mom first and only touch their feet.

Happy SITS day!!

[Dee]

I completely understand! Congrats on being featured!

[GingerSnap]

I am not a mother (yet!) and I know the rules! Don't TOUCH other peoples babies. It's ok to smile back, to wave, etc. But don't touch! I can't imagine having to deal with that all the time. I'm sure it is frustrating and worrisome!

[TR Hughes]

There is something so fascinating about the miracle of birth...I believe that fascination is what blurs the lines of personal space when it comes to pregnant women and babies...people want to be close to miracles!

[Megan]

I don't know if I would have thought of this before, but I definitely will now, so thanks for the heads up!

[Lorie Shewbridge]

Good morning, stopping by from SITS, and you had me in hysterics!! I am so phobic about people touching me, and I love little babies and kids, but I ALWAYS ask the parents before I approach a child. I know that most parents teach kids about "stranger danger" from a very young age and I would NEVER touch a baby without permission, and I usually touch a foot because, I never know what I have touched last when I am out somewhere. I know JUST how you feel. Great post & you wrote it SO well. Can't wait to read more!!

[Michelle G]

This goes along with people who want to touch the pregnant belly! And I was a "freak" because I had two babies in there so EVERYONE wanted to touch my belly!!! LOL

Happy SITS Day!

[Mama-Face]

Congrats from a Sitsta. Yeah, I so hated it when strangers wanted to touch my babies. And I continue to be surprised when someone asks if they may hold a strangers baby. One thing I detested was the rubbing of the head. Ick. You also mentioned one of my biggest pet peeves, dirty fingernails. Ick Ick. You have a sweet blog here.