Men: You Can't Live With Them...

 

...and you can't get them to change a diaper the correct way. And yes, by "correct" I mean MY way, because My way, and the RIGHT way, are synonymous. Sound familiar? There are things that Daddy does that push me to the edge of insanity and leave me wondering how this man ever cared for a pet, let alone himself, before I entered his life and saved him from certain self-destruction. Speaking of caring for pets, there's the time that Daddy bought our oldest daughter a rabbit for Easter (so cliche, and so wrong)...without telling me. Surprise! So, when this rabbit got loose and our daughter was freaked out, crying, and afraid to catch the squirmy little beast, who do you think went outside in the cold damp air wearing pajamas, and with bare feet trying to avoid its little turds, to put the rabbit back in its cage? Yep, mama to the rescue. Then there's the time that Daddy was cold, so he turned up the thermostat to 90 degrees. With the baby asleep in her room and her door closed. Would he have taken the baby to the gym with him and put her in the sauna? Of course not. Then why would he basically create a sauna out of her bedroom?!  Again, mama to the rescue. There's the time when our daughter was a toddler, and Daddy was helping her after she'd gone potty.  When he lifted her pants, he also lifted her legs off the floor...she flipped forward, and landed forehead first SMACK into the marble floor. When I got home, it was Daddy and some little Cyclops creature that greeted me at the door. I rest my case. I do 95% of the educating, 98% of the disciplining (fortunately, I have one well-behaved eight year old, and a baby, so I don't typically have to exert myself with this one), and 100% of the planning for playdates, birthday parties, summer camps, extracurricular activities and so on.

 

But, despite the above (the Lame List could be a lot longer, with numerous funny, frightening, or pitiful examples of Daddy mishaps), I happen to have a damn good husband and father to my babies. Truth be told, Big Papa fits into the great category. Take this past weekend for example: after I nursed the baby, he took her into another room so I could sleep in; he made breakfast, baked cupcakes for my daughter's sports awards picnic, took care of the baby so I could nap later that day, cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen. It wasn't a holiday, nor was it my birthday. It was just because this is what he does. He takes off work to attend every parent/teacher conference and school performance, volunteers at the school, and puts chocolate chips in my daughter's waffles every Sunday morning, because he knows that's how she likes them best. He still calls from work just to check in, and asks me to put the phone up to the baby's ear. This Lucky List, just like the Lame List, could also be a lot longer.

 

When I need to appreciate my man, all I need do is listen to some of my mommy friends, those on the brink of divorce - their relationship irrevocably damaged by infidelity, alcoholism, serious financial problems, or just plain detachment; moms holding their marriage together "for the sake of the kids."  Or my friends who are single, and have to fill the shoes of both mama and papa, struggling to get child support, or caring for their kid alone regardless of how ill, exhausted, or frustrated they are in the moment. Or my friends who have a man in the house, but still feel that they do it all alone. It is when I listen to their honest, vulnerable stories, that I want to come home and plant a big fat juicy kiss on that man of mine.  

 

To all my readers who are new moms: don't worry, darlin'. You will soon come to realize (at least if you want to stay sane) that you must let A LOT go. Don't expect him to do things even close to the way you perfectly do them. Sometimes I just have to step out of the room because I can't bite my tongue hard enough. Stop nagging correcting him, and just...let it be. Bottom line: as long as your baby is still alive at the end of Daddy's shift, it's all good (even if he fed her crackers and candy for dinner). And the things he does well count for major make-up points. After two kids and almost ten years of marriage, my husband still thinks I'm the hottest chick around. I think I'll have his eyes checked and get him new glasses for Father's Day. Or not.

 

Comments

[Michelle]

Oh Amen! And kudos to you for being able to walk away and let your husband do things his way.... So long as you're on the same page with the major items, doing things differently is fine. As I ummm occasionally have to remind myself.

[Christine]

I can so relate! I can get so frustrated with hubby sometimes, but I do have to remember he is an incredible dad... and husband... and I need to give him more credit sometimes.

[Sherri @ Luv a Bargain]

And a 2nd Amen to that! It is hard to let our guard down sometimes and not be in charge of the house decisions but I think hubby's appreciate so much when we let them do things their way. Just a little though:)

[trisha]

yep, i think they are related!

trisha
momdot.com

[Lani]

What a great post.. Happy Sits day!

[Unknown Mami]

Great advice! You gotta let Daddy do it his way too. I'm glad you both appreciate each other.

Happy SITS day to you!

[Sugar and Spice]

I feel the same way. I already know how lucky I am, and then I go to other people's houses and realize HOW LUCKY I AM! Isn't it great to have such adorable and helpless husbands?

[The Redhead Riter]

FYI Glasses won't help. lol

[Bobbi]

Amen sister! I can relate!

[kaye]

awwww... looks like you have a winner right there! i know how that must feel! hubby is younger than i am and i sometimes (okay, MOST of the time) feel that he should be doing things MY WAY because i am older than him. but if truth be told, he goes out of his way just to make me and my daughter feel like princesses and not many dads i know do that, so i know that i AM lucky to have him.

[Helen]

Happy SITS day! I totally agree...despite the complete uselessness at times, it is he that does breakfast and doesn't expect me to move until he places a cup of tea in my hand and it is he who takes them to school every day, takes them treasure hunting and swimming and all of the things I feel I don't have time or inclination to do. So yeah for great dads! :O)
x

[Jeannie]

Love it!!! Great post and we can ALL relate!

[Amy]

this is a fantastic post, as a newlywed, looking to start a family, this blog is a great look into the ups and downs of parenthood! Happy Wednesday from a fellow SITSta

[Creative Junkie]

I loved this post - I can so relate. My husband did almost everything wrong when our youngest was a baby, in that it wasn't done the way I would have done it. But at least he did it.

[Amanda @ Serenity Now]

Great post!!! My husband has his share of foibles, but boy is he a great husband and father at the end of the day!! We need reminders like this. :)

[JennyMac]

LOL. Great post and so true.

[Cher]

awww, such a great post! love it!

[Amanda]

AMEN! Im glad Im not the only one :)

[Kristy M.]

This is such a great post. This is how I feel about my husband. HE does not do things the way I would but her sure knows how to take care of me and the baby when we need him.

[Tiffany]

Congrats on being Saucy today!

[Jane In The Jungle]

This is so true!!! My hubby is great because he loves our kids so much and doesn't mind showing it, of course even after 4 of them he still cannot manage to put a diaper on without 1 butt cheek hanging out, LOL!

Happy SITS day!!

[Ungirdled Passion]

You sound like a lucky woman! Happy SITS day!

[Laura]

Sounds like you got a good man. Better hold on to him.

[Michelle]

Absolutely wonderful insight. Happy SITS day!

[Kristin]

Happy SITS day! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has her own way to change a diaper. Despite insisting on doing things his own way, the hubs pretty much rocks as a daddy too!

[Teri]

Haha!! Hope you enjoyed your SITS day!

[Christine]

That is really good advice - thanks for sharing! I think letting go of a lot of control on issues that "have to be done my way" makes things a lot easier.

Happy SITS day!

[Life of a Stepmama]

Love this post, I laughed so hard!! Guys just have a harder time but the fact he is making an effort is sometimes good enough!! Sounds like you have a wonderful family, and I completely get the control issues!! Love your blog, happy SITS day!

[Kimi]

So true! Congrats on your Happy SITS day.

[TR Hughes]

Happy SITS day! I'm a touch OCD, so I can align with your plight. Some of the most ridiculous things eerk me. Yet, I have found that Mind over matter works well - if you don't mind it doesn't matter. This takes practice though.

[glenna williams]

Great Post! Happy SITS DAY

[Rhiannon]

haha how true and cute! I am a little OCD so I can relate sista! Happy SITS Day :)

[Multiple Personalities]

What a beautiful post! Like you, I'm fortunate to be married to a wonderful albeit flawed and dorky husband. Congratulations on being the FB on SITS!

[Laura Ingalls Gunn]

At first I was afraid this was another husband bashing post which I try to steer clear of as it is so easy to jump on a bandwagon.
As someone who will forever shake her head at the way her husband does a few things but ever thankful that he does them I applaud you for inpspiring new moms and brides.

[(army)WIfe]

My hubs was home for the first week after our son was deployed before he had to leave. Since he was leaving and because I had a c-section he was Mr. Mom the entire week. All I had to do was feed the kid and the hubby took care of the rest. I was so surprised (in a very good way) but how he just took charge of our newborn son. When he gets home in September I'm hoping I'll be able to let go of the routine I've created with our son and let my hubs have his hand in things :)

[Judi Bentley]

Great post. I can so relate:)

[Darrah]

Nobody does it like Mommy! Cute blog! Happy SITS Day!!

[B.o.B.]

LOL! Cute post. Daddy deserves some love sometimes.

Happy SITS Day!

[Jackie from 3LittleOnes]

Too funny! I can so relate!!! Just when my husband was driving me crazy yesterday, I remembered all he did for me this past weekend : )

[Susan]

Great post!!!

[Reluctant Housewife]

He sounds like a great dad (sauna inscident aside). He obviously loves his kids and that's the most important part, I think.

[Jill Scott]

Love this. He does sound like a pretty good man. Happy SITS Day!

[Tonya]

What a great post! Happy SITS day!

[Donna]

Happy SITS day! Sounds like your DH's good qualities outweigh the bad. I can overlook a bad diaper changer for a daddy that really loves his kids!

[Chris]

I can relate even though we never had any kids. We have 5 pets and it just seems the most capable man at other things turns totally clueless when it comes to caring for our furry kids other than feeding them. He tries and like you said you just need to accept that it won't be done the way you would do it, and forget it.

[Chris]

I can relate even though we don't have any kids at home. We have 5 pets and it just seems the most capable man at other things turns totally clueless when it comes to caring for our furry kids other than feeding them. He tries and like you said you just need to accept that it won't be done the way you would do it, and forget it.

[rose]

funny!

[Elizabeth @ Type A Mommy]

Stopping by from SITS today, that was an awesome post.

[Scrappy Girl]

Happy SITS day...I definitely think help from Dad is great even if not done exactly like I do it. My biggest pet peeve is the outfits he puts on the kids to go out in public...LOL!

[Atlanta]

Stopping By From SITS! I'm right there with you. Someitme I want to throttle my subby or things that he does, but then I realize how CRAZY I would be if he wasnt there to pick up my slack, and believe me there is alot of it. I actually Blogged on my myspace a while back about how luck I am to have a man who... You get the picture. Sometimes its sad that it takes our friends who are having a hard time or who have pieces of garbage for husbands to really make us see it. Love the post! =) I have a giveaway going on if you are interested!