I feel like I've been crying all week. First, it was the interview of the two mothers whose sons were being bullied at school. BEAUTIFUL young boys, being teased, humiliated and harassed in the environment where our kids spend most of their waking hours. And no one made it stop. Desperate to end their torment, both boys hung themselves at home. I wonder what Sunday will bring to those two anguished mothers.
Then mid-week, I was handling my usual blog business, checking some fellow mommy websites. I stopped in on Heather's thespohrsaremultiplying.com. Heather is one of the many moms that I follow on Twitter. And like the rest of us, she gave frequent updates on what was happening in her world, and the silly antics of her kid...until April 7th, when her baby girl suddenly died. I recently wrote about sweet little Maddie on my blog, and her parents significant involvement with March of Dimes. Once again, I found myself at my computer in a sea of tears and a knot in my throat, while reading the latest posts to her blog - her disbelief, her indescribable pain, and the experience she has at every event she attends, every moment that passes, that Maddie is supposed to be here, should be here. And I wonder what Sunday will bring to this anguished mother.
Finally, this morning, I'm watching Regis & Kelly, and their usual sappy Mother's Day Show - you know the one, where they surprise a very deserving mother with some incredible trip or a new car (yea, yea, yea, we are all deserving, but this is like, mom-gives-her-kidney-to-a-stranger kind of deserving). Of course, I cry as every letter is read and as every mom comes on stage. I imagine that I'm crying along with a million other viewers at the moment, because there sure is a lot of eye wiping going on in the audience. And then they hit me with the whammy - a young mom, with two little boys, is one of the lucky recipients of the Mother's Day prizes. Except this mom never gets to be made up and dressed up and join the hosts on stage like the other moms. Because she loses her battle to cervical cancer before today's show airs. This mom knows she's going to die. And just like a mom, she prepares things in advance that are going to make her children's lives easier and better. She prepares her boys for her loss by leaving them letters and special mementos - a special key chain when they turn 16, cufflinks with her photo for their wedding day. Yep, I'm really bawling at this point. And I wonder what Sunday will bring to these little boys and their father.
This has been one heavy duty week, and a time for great perspective. In the process, I've not thought about the countless things I do as mom that earned me breakfast in bed on Sunday. I've instead thought about all the things my girls do for me.
My daughters make me want to be a better human being. They make me do better and be better; they give me accountability, because I don't want to be a hypocrite when I steer them in a certain direction. My daughters allow me to be a kid again, as I live vicariously through their joys and triumphs and excitement about the simple things in life. I'm eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, going to Disneyland, participating in Girl Scouts, and drowning in the color pink, all over again, and loving it - a chance to not only live again, but pay more attention this time. My daughters give me the opportunity to love someone so completely, absolutely, and fiercely, that it sometimes takes my breath away.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of you fortunate enough to have this exceptional experience of enjoying all the things your kids do for you.
Nina, my love......thanks for the reminder. And the goosebumps. Have the very best day, Mother's Day, or any day.
love,
~Portlyn
Posted by: Portlyn | Saturday, May 09, 2009 at 10:24 AM
Perspective. I love that. Lots of love to you this Mother's Day. -xoxo-Siubhan
Posted by: Siubhan | Saturday, May 09, 2009 at 11:14 AM
I have been sitting here for the last 5 minutes trying to figure out what I wanted to type. But I couldn't find the words. Thank you for sharing this post. It's nice to read stuff and know there are Moms out there that are thinking the same exact thing as me.
Happy mothers day!
Hugs!
~erin (@erinjeany)
Posted by: Erin | Saturday, May 09, 2009 at 09:22 PM
I cried with every story I read in your post as I wait for my breakfast to be served to me on this beautiful Mother's Day. My heart goes out to these Moms and their families.
Posted by: Trisha | Sunday, May 10, 2009 at 09:39 AM
That was beautiful. Thank you.
Posted by: Heather | Monday, May 11, 2009 at 11:02 AM
Great post and I too cry every time I think of little maddie. I feel so blessed to have my families health and love.
Danielle
http://midlifemommy07.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Danielle | Monday, May 11, 2009 at 02:29 PM