How Does a Baby Get IN the Stomach?

 

That's what my seven year old daughter asked me last night. Oh, excuse me, my seven and a HALF year old.  She won't let you forget about that half. This is how the conversation went, at least as much as I can remember - I've repressed it already...

 

Her:  "Mommy, how does a baby get in your stomach?"

Me:  "Uhhhh, (one-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand...) is that mentioned in the book you're reading (that's right, throw the question back at her. Stall for more time)?"

Her:  "The boy's mom in the book is pregnant."

Me:  "Uh-huh (thanks a lot, Judy Blume)."

Her:  So, how did a baby get in her stomach?"

Me:  "That's a good question. Well (maybe what I told her when she was five will still work), the mommy and daddy get together and make the baby (I'm not off to a good start. Could that possibly have been more vague?)."

Her:  "But how does it get IN her stomach?"

Me:  (Crap, she's not five anymore) "Umm, there's an egg inside the mommy..."

Her: "An egg?!!?"

Me:  "Just like a chicken (what?!). There's an egg inside and..."

Her:  "In me?!? I have an EGG in me right now?!?"

Me:  "Uh, no? Later, you'll have an egg in you later (do I even mention sperm?! What's too much info, too soon?!? I should've just said it all happens by magic)."

Daddy (yelling from the kitchen): "Dinner's ready!"

His timing is perfect, and not just because I'm starving.

 

I can't believe I just admitted that I had such a bumbling, fumbling conversation. I'm usually so much more on top of it. Alright, alright! I froze. I choked. I wasn't prepared. And I'm not prudish, I swear. We've even had this discussion in my mommy support group about what to say, but NONE of it came to me. See, what had happened was - I planned to have a very informative, honest, reasonable talk with my daughter about sex and babies, nothing like that rambling foolishness that just occurred. Only it was going to be AFTER I had done my research, bought a children's book on the topic, checked out a few educational websites. On MY time. Silly me. My daughter reminded me so brilliantly that nothing is on my time anymore. 

 

OK, so this morning is a new day. And I felt determined to fix last night's blunder, so the first thing I do is Google. Unfortunately, I can't believe how NOT helpful the old trusted Internet is on this topic. I found article after article on how important it is to have this open dialogue with your kid. Duh! I know that already. I want a script!  And then I remembered that I DO have a factual kids' book on where babies come from! Woo-hoo. Oh mama, see there - I'm ahead of the game and didn't even know it. So, I found this kids' book I've been saving for a couple of years now, just waiting for this day, sitting high on the bookshelf. I skimmed through it, knowing I held in my hands the answers, and..."the man pushes his penis up and down inside the woman's vagina, so that both the tickly parts are being rubbed against each other...the tickly feeling gets stronger and stronger...it's very tiring. More than running or skipping..."  I'll spare you the rest, about the intense wiggling of the "tickly parts," and the popping sensation, and the "sticky stuff."  There's a big fat sticker on the book cover that says over 2 million copies were sold. Really? Two million parents bought this book?!  I'm thinking that I couldn't possibly have read through it before I bought it.

 

My daughter seemed satisfied with my lame explanation that there's an egg inside a woman when she gets older, that grows into a baby. Of course, I know it's grossly inadequate, so I'm headed to the bookstore today to find someone who can articulate this a lot better than I can.

 

Have you had this conversation with your tween? I'm open to suggestions from any of you who are laughing hysterically at me right now, and have already been through this. And don't get too smug - you know you have to repeat the conversation frequently, modifying the content as they mature, right?  So, how does a baby get IN the stomach?

 

 

Comments

[lindsay]

Maybe you can ask her if she knows that boys have different parts that girls? If she says yes, then ask her if she knows that they look different.. then explain to her that the boys part fertilizes the egg but it can only do that when both people are adults.. then if she asks how.. THEN tell her they kiss in bed. Thats it.. Then you can have the real talk later.. i think that is open enough for a 7 year old.. kissing in bed makes it less "every day" where as some parents just say "a man and a woman kiss"

Just some thoughts from a non-mom

I remember my parents saying something similar to my sister at that age.. She was OBSESSED with babies and wanted to be a baby nurse or something..

[lindsay]

oh.. and just incase.. if she asks HOW the baby gets inside through kissing.. you can maybe tell her that the girls part and guy's part fit together like a puzzle when people grow into adults.. thats not TOO graphic..

again, you can just go with MAGIC or just THROUGH THE LOVE IN THE AIR type of message

[Stacy]

LOL!!!! I had this conversation with my daughter (9 now, I think she was 7 at the time) and I told her that mommies have eggs and daddies have sperm and when the egg and sperm get together, it makes a baby. Her reaction "Ewwww, you have eggs in you?!?!? Eggs like a chicken??". Fortunately, that thought distracted her away from asking the obvious question, "how do the sperm and egg get together inside the mommies tummy?". Phew!! Dodged that bullet (kind of, for the time being). I did, however have to talk about periods (to dispell the whole "egg like a chicken" idea). That was much better for me. :-)

[Lisa Coan]

Aww... I feel for you with having to go through this right now. I remember having to go through this - though somewhat different with my son. I enrolled my son AND I into a program through the health department here when he was in elementary or maybe just out of elementary school that went into very very descriptive detail in a non-confrontational method of teaching and it was a really good way to teach them. There were classes for all ages though. You might want to check wth your local health department to see if they have something similar that you can join into a class that you take together. I would highly recommend this.

[Kari]

My mom gave me the "Where Did I Come From" book by Peter Mayle when I was about that age. Granted, my family was very open about sex education, but that book had simple pictures, simple words, and satisfied my curiosity for the time because it was straightforward. As I got older, I asked more questions, and was fortunate to keep receive correct, honest answers. Building trust with open communication is so important!

[Melissa]

My guy has (so far) been satisfied with this explanation. "A Daddy has special things inside him called 'sperm'. The Mommy has a very special egg. The Mommy and Daddy give each other a special kind of hug and the sperm goes inside the Mommy searching for the egg." We even drew pictures of what the sperm looked like wiggling into the egg. So far he hasn't asked for details on the "special hug". I'm saving that info for when he flat out asks.

[Sheree]

I have nothing. But please save whatever you find for me. Even though my boy already thinks sex is when a man and a woman go into the bathroom and rub on each other. He hasn't connected that a baby can come from that "hug."

I guess that his dad and I need to step in sooner than later.

[Trisha]

I dies of laughter while reading your post! That quote was way TMI - oh my! Dr. Laura Berman was on Oprah twice a few weeks ago and has her book available on oprah.com for free. It addresses the mechanics of the body parts with pictures. I think that's a good starting point. Enjoy the journey!

[Christina]

Wow. I think I would have just about said the same thing. Thank God my boys are still babies themselves and I have a while to prepare myself. And I can't believe that book is sooo explicit! I dunno if that's how I'll explain it....

[Heidi]

I loved this post, it made me chuckle! I am of no help though, my little one isn't even 2 years old yet (thank goodness!)

[Kristy @ Mommy In Pink]

That is hysterical...I dread the day I have to explain that to my daughter...just the thought makes my head spin!

[Melissa O.]

OMG! That book is so not cool. Who the heck would use that book to explain it to their kids? I am half laughing and half grossed out! Well my 9 y/o daughter just kind of knows but not in great detail. She knows that babies come from sex but I dont know if she knows the intimate details of sex. I had my son when she was 8 so she does have some idea and both my 11 y/o son and her watched a live birth online with me before he was born (I picked a less icky one to watch). I think you can be honest with out being to detailed. There has to be an age appropriate answer for the question at all stages and I think even I am too young for that book! lol

[Midwest Mommy]

I had to close my eyes adn stop reading, I am so not ready for this, I am so not ready for this, I am so not ready for this (rocking back and forth)!

[Amy]

I just went to a seminar on this topic by our local seattle 'sexpert' (http://www.birdsandbeesandkids.com/). I bought the book "Its so amazing" which I highly recommend. I've since read most of it with my highly curious 5 year old, and it has gone great. Good luck in your discussions!

[cheyanne]

see maybe she wants to know

[The Redhead Riter]

I'm laughing. Wait until you have tell THE TRUTH because it CAN AND WILL BE AWKWARD!

[kaye]

oh my gosh! i wouldn't know what to tell my daughter either! she's only one year old now and i know i have a lot of time to prepare my script but can you ever be prepared fr something like this??

[Helen]

*LOL* I've had that conversation. My daughter asked in front of the younger twins. She said "I know HOW a baby is born but HOW does the seed get into the mummy?".
Gulp.
One sentence is what I gave her wondering if that would be enough..."The man puts his penis inside the woman and the seed comes out of that"
Stunned silence.
Youngest daughter...."EEUCH! I'm not going to do THAT!".
"Quite right!" I said.
They turned back to the tv whilst I ran away to scream/laugh into a towel upstairs.

[marina]

oh no....I really don't look forward to that day!My little one is soon to be 3 and a HALF and she asked me how a baby would come in my stomach and we told her she has to pray to Jesus and one day when we were sleeping, we would not know when...He would come a leave a baby in my tummy. :>

PS Popping over from SITS
http://energizerbunnysmommyreports.blogspot.com/

[Country-Fried Mama]

I remember a book we had as kids. I think it was called "Where did I come from?" or something like that. It had pictures. ;=P

[Jeannie]

Gosh! I don't remember how I bumbled through it with my first two, but now I have a third child to deal with!!! Yikes....heading to the library today!

[Amy]

wow...I just...maybe I don't want kids, lol...good luck!!
~A~

[Jennifer Juniper]

I blogged this same problem! http://hopestudios.blogspot.com/2009/02/i-need-drink.html

http://hopestudios.blogspot.com/2009/03/seriously-god-not-one-daughter.html

I actually had to go back and explain some things to my husband after I was done with the kids. We've still never gotten down to the nitty gritty. I just said the private parts "kiss" when you're married and it makes a baby! (cringe)

[Creative Junkie]

I did a whole blog post on this - when my eldest daughter was five, she had a friend over who brought Barbie and Ken and pretty soon, Barbie and Ken were nekkid and busy and I had a lot of explaining to do. It was, shall we say, memorable.

UGH.

[Amanda @ Serenity Now]

Oh, my dear Lord. I am so so glad my girls are still little. I do NOT want to have this conversation!!!

[Cher]

haaa! oh, i fear those days. i really do.

[JennyMac]

This cracked me up..ours is only two so we have all of this ahead. I can just send him to your house for a great explanation! :)

[Kristy M.]

This makes me want to have a plan ready. I'm really not sure how to answer that question to a 7 1/2 year old let alone any age younger than that. My daughter is 2 so I still have some time I hope.

[Morgan]

That is great! Gotta love the inquiring minds of babes.

[Ungirdled Passion]

We got a great book for our sons' (twins) age level at seven to accurately give them the knowledge they needed and could understand at that time - don't have the title as the book got passed around to so many families we no longer have it. I am sure you'll find a good book. Good to start NOW because they will be getting quite an education in school on this topic, and NOT from the teachers!

[Laura]

Oh how I love those little talks.

[Teri]

This is something I will be doing in the future - yikes!

[Kristin]

The dude is only one and I'm already dreading this moment. I think I'll pass it off the the hubs. ah ha

[Sadie's Mom]

2 million? Really? And that description kind of makes me never want to have another baby. Ew.

My mom gave me the basics. And let me ask the questions. Then she didn't have to give away more info than necessary. And it was an ongoing dialogue. (But Judy Blume was helpful with certain things...)

[Michelle]

Two million copies? That must mean there are two million very confused kids with way too much strange information! I hope I'll have the courage some day to be straight forward...gulp.

[Life of a Stepmama]

For once I am so thankful I have a stepson, and his daddy can have that talk with him!! That would be so hard, and so confusing for them!! Curious to hear what you found and how the follow up went.

Good luck! :)

[TR Hughes]

Too Funny! My Step-daughters didn't need this talk from me! And my two boys (puppies) got to skip it as well! Happy SITS!

[Rhiannon]

omg haha I don't even think my parents ever explained to me how this happened haha so I don't know how I would tell my kiddos haha this is hilarious!

[(army)WIfe]

Too hilarious! Thank goodness I am many years away from THAT conversation.

Happy SITS Day!

[debbie]

We have had this talk with each of ours when they turned 8. They never really asked before then. And, we tend to be rather clinical. It seems to work though!
Good luck.

[Reluctant Housewife]

That's always a hard conversation. Sometimes I fumble, identically to how you did above... sometimes I just tell it like it is.

My kids haven't asked me how the baby gets in the tummy, but they have asked me how it gets out.

Oh and PS: that book sounds LAME. I can't believe it sold that many copies either! "Tickly parts"?! "sticky stuff"?! Yeesh.

[Kelly]

Classic! At least you are trying to have this conversation now... not when she's 20 and about to get married like my mom did!!

[Susan]

Thanks for the smile :)

[Jackie from 3LittleOnes]

Oh boy - I am dreading this conversation when my kids get older. At least you reminded me to try to be prepared. My oldest is 3, so hopefully I still have some time. Happy SITS day!!!

[B.o.B.]

Tickly parts? Are they for real??? That is out of control. Good thing to pass on that one.

Happy Sits Day!

[Jill Scott]

I'm going to say "Mommy and Daddy put their love together and put it in there. They just put it there." Shouldn't that suffice?

Crap, I better go find a book too.

[Tonya]

Oh my gosh that's hilarious! I can't believe that book said it like that...I wouldn't even want to read it. lol

[rose]

I was sooooo laughing out loud! Too funny. I gave my daughter a book with all the appropriate details let her read it an dthen asked her if she had any questions. She looked at me, cried and threw it at me. I was like, "what did I do"! so I put it back up in the office and noticed the next dayit was missing and she had her BR dooor closed.

[Type A Mommy]

Yikes, I am so not looking forward to that moment in my child's life at all. You absolutely have to post an update when you have that conversation to give us all a clue! :)

[Scrappy Girl]

I couldn't read that book without turning red and giggling!